Episode 216 – HnH-a-Ween!

Published on October 28, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

I was thinking about writing a rap (I initially spelled that “wrap”, but then caught myself) for the written intro today… but I sincerely doubt my rapping abilities. I mean, I can WRAP… as in Christmas present. Really well, actually. That’s normally my job. I’m just really good at wrapping so I get to do that every Christmas. They pile up boxes and I wrap them. It’s relaxing. Don’t judge me. Oh, anyway… about my rap. Meh. Not feeling it any longer. You can just listen to the show instead :D

Factoid of the Week
The word amethyst comes from the Greek ‘ameth’ meaning “not drunken, without drunkenness”. This is because it was believed to protect one from the effects of wine.

Woman tries to create zombie
Man beats woman with frozen turkey
Donkey Sex
Sweet Smelling Sweat

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 57:18

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 215 – No, Kizzy, OW My Noodles!

Published on October 21, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

This week’s show concentrates on… well, nothing. Stephen and I don’t know how to concentrate… and even if we did… it would be a very weird show indeed if we didn’t drive the bus off the road six or 29 times. Also, because I can’t go one show without making the introductory paragraph a journal entry, I went running again yesterday after taking a 6 week break (falling off a mountain will do that to you). Lemme just say, that it is NOT like getting back on a bike. It is evil and hard and i hurt everywhere. Gah. Oh, well, I won’t survive the zombie apocalypse if I don’t start running again, tho!

Factoid of the Week
Arabians have one less rib, one less lumbar bone, and one or two fewer tail vertebrae than other horses.

80 year old joy ride
Toilet Humor Goes Awry
Housework is a dirty word
This is why we don’t hitchhike

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 1:10:59

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 214 – Little Bitty Baby Ride

Published on October 14, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

This show is going to be amazing. Amazing like Busch Gardens in VA. Amazing like the little bitty baby ride that Stephen and I went on… and then promptly decided that anyone getting on that ride was INSANE and should be COMMITTED because their brain did not function at ALL. Awesome like the Griffin and it’s 95 degree angle drop at night. Awesome like the picture I have of Stephen making the face that the ppl in The Ring make when they die. Awesome like the churros that Stephen bought me. Awesome like the strippers at Das Festhaus :D

Factoid of the Week
The umbrella was originally invented to protect people from the hot sun.

Runner Catches Bus
Door to Door Boob Exams
Gorey Zombie Accident
Pheonix Jones

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 1:07:12

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 213 – The Great Boobaloo

Published on September 30, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

Well, I’m not allowed to make these diary entries anymore… and we are trying not to talk about sex, so ppl don’t think we are a super dirty show… Ummm… so that kinda leaves me very few things to write about. I guess I could write about the SHOW, but you’re going to LISTEN to the show… so I don’t want to SPOIL the show… I mean, I could tell you knock knock jokes? Knock, Knock… HnH…. LISTEN TO THE DAMN SHOW so you can hear about yak nipples!

Oh yeah! Check out Chris Moreno’s Zombie Dickheads! Fantastic stuff!

Factoid of the Week:
In 1807, Washington Irving attached the moniker “Gotham” to New York City in a satire publication called Salmagundi. Salmagundi, by the way, is defined as a dish of chopped meat, anchovies, eggs, onions, and seasoning. Tasty!In 1807, Washington Irving attached the moniker “Gotham” to New York City in a satire publication called Salmagundi. Salmagundi, by the way, is defined as a dish of chopped meat, anchovies, eggs, onions, and seasoning. Tasty!

Woman Eats Her Surprise
Toe Suck Fairy
Just…Gross
Yak Nipples

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 1:06:02

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 212 – Do It Like Bernie

Published on September 23, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

Ummm, so this is the most bizarre we have done in a while… some of the stories are REALLY weird and REALLY gross… but, we have no filter so, we will tell you about them! yay! Also, I cleaned my Jeep today. Like, REALLY cleaned him. Washed and waxed and vacuumed and armoralled and he is so totally stoked to be clean >^_^< Granted, getting wax off of windows is a PAIN in the arse… stupid windex is no match for turtle waX.

Factoid of the Week:
The parachute was invented by Leonardo Da Vinci in 1515

Breast Slapping
Dog Walker
Keeping it in the Family
Partied to Death

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As..)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 211 – Organic Swiss Army Knife

Published on September 16, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

Ash’s computer died, I had to wear glasses, a dude in Miami redefines “trouser snake”! This episode of H&H was going to be a quick one, but Ash and I managed to ramble for just about an hour…which I guess considering I latest track record does seem like a short show. Either way, you’re going to have a blast! Put H&H in your earholes!

Factoid of the Week:
Hammerhead sharks attack humans on an average of once every 11 years

Diamonds are Forever…in your colon
Curious Elvers
Trouser snakes

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save as…)
Running Time: 56:45

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 210 – The Red Brief Brigade

Published on September 9, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

Sometimes I stay up until 8something am while cleaning my room. I tend to sleep in really late after doing this. This is a bad idea. Because now, I will stay up till the sun is up AGAIN tonight. During the summer, this isn’t so bad because the sun sets around 9pm… but during the winter this is HORRIBLE because I never SEE the sun. I go to bed as it is barely coming up and wake when it is setting. This is why I am pale… because I clean my room.

Factoid of the Week:
Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Ashley’s Getting Married
Punch a bear in the FACE
Eat More Bugs
Gumby Robs Store

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 209 – What He Done Did Wrong?

Published on August 27, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

I finally got my stitches out! It’s gonna be a weird scar… not half as bad as it would have been, tho. Sadly, I still can’t walk up or down stairs or bend my knee… freaking HURTS :( I am slightly concerned about the BUSCH GARDENS trip, as it will require a massive amount of walking and running and stair climbing… if my leg is not healed by then… there will be death by deadening. Speaking of the BG trip… the live show will NOT be next week due to the 5 or 6 hour drive Stephen and I will be making to the land of awesome.

Factoid of the Week
During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that’s the weight of about 6 elephants.

Bees on a plane
Rogue Panda Problem
Hidden Inflamation, Missing Penis
Knicker Nicking Kanga

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save as…)
Running Time: 1 Hour

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 208 – QUADROCOPTOORRRRRRR

Published on August 18, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

So, I talk about how I tried to kill myself last week by driving an ATV over the side of a mtn and hitting a tree… and then I yell a lot because I am on crutches for another 8 days…. AND I CANT MOVE MY LEG and it is very frustrating and BORING and I dislike it VERY much!? I was glad we moved the show up so I had ppl to talk to and something to do! I dunno what I’m going to do now, actually :( SO SAD. I need entertainment!

Factoid of the Week
A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber. A ball of solid steel will bounce higher than one made entirely of glass.

Drunk Germans + Forklifts
Learner’s Permit
Penis Pump
Guns and Onions

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 1:20:00

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Episode 207 – The Elusive Squee

Published on August 5, 2011 in Shows. 0 Comments

So, I woke up 5 hours before I normally do today… and couldnt go back of sleep. So, I just stayed up and actually accomplished things. I went to the bank and closed my account (Im not paying their newly instituted fee for checking), and went to another bank to open an account… and they were closed! Boo. So now I have all my cash out of the bank and it’s making me nervous. I also wanna buy shyte online… and I can’t without a checking account! Oh! AND I got flowers today ^_^ Buddy of mine brought them over. They were pretty >^_^<

Factoid of the Week
Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don’t.

Tanks Fo’ Dah Free Parking
Man Loses $5000
Sperm Sniffing Dog
Nipple Footy

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 1:27:39

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.