It is so good to be back! I missed Stephen and H&H almost enough to keep me home from going to Busch Gardens and eating all of the roller coasters. Alas, the coasters called to me and demanded my attendance. This show totally makes up for my absence, however (because I know you all were just pining away without me). Stephen and I both had caffeine before we recorded, and we are insanely hyper. Hyper hosts make for awesome shows! Lots of sex (with cars!), shark attacks (in bedrooms!), moonpies (as deadly weapons!), and marriages (to walls!). Enjoy the caffeine rush
Continue reading ‘Episode 61 – “Candy Corn of DOOM!”’
Children’s books are often written with a purpose. Sometimes they are to teach a moral principle, show you not to be embarrassed about who you are, tell you to stay strong under peer pressure, and even make sure you know it’s okay to poop, but what about that books that teach you unconventional wisdom. Dr. Michael Salzhauer of Miami, Florida has written a book, “My Beautiful Mommy,” to help parents tell their children about the changes to be expected from an impending plastic surgery. I used to have trouble adjusting to my mom’s new haircuts, so one can only imagine what a kid thinks after his mom has a boob job!
Continue reading ‘It’s Just Like “Everybody Poops”…’
There are tons of weird things put up for auction on eBay every hour. There have been Jesus Pancakes, Mastodon Bones, and even “New Folders” for your Windows OS. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone offer up their baby, however — until now. Yes, dear readers, on Saturday, May 24th an eight-month-old child was offered up for bids on eBay. The German couple, apparently thinking changing diapers was not all it was cracked up to be, decided that they wanted to see if anyone would bid for their child.
Continue reading ‘eBay Baby’
Alas, today’s live show went on despite that fact that nobody listened live and nobody called in. Don’t worry, the co-host of the show wasn’t even there. My good buddy Micah stood in to take her place! Despite not having boobies, he did awesome and I am super glad that he came on to pick up the slack left by Ash who is currently out of town fighting the good fight against the Red Squirrel Army. We still had a good time, and I can only assume that you all were abducted by aliens and couldn’t wrestle yourselves away in time to join us. I hope you love this episode!
Continue reading ‘Episode 60 LIVE! – “You Have Porn On Your Pillow”’
I would like to take the time to dedicate this episode to all the penguins out there… penguins that have been put into games where you see how far you can punt them with a polar bear and a bat. Penguins that have been put into weird CG movies and taught to dance (oddly) and sing (horribly). Penguins that do not look like penguins because the toy store manufacture has no idea what a penguin actually looks like. Lastly, and maybe most importantly, penguins that have been violated for 45 minutes by great, fat 245 seals. You’re doing it WRONG! Now you have to listen to the show because you are overly curious as to what I am prattling on about.
Continue reading ‘Episode 59 – “Buttery Nipple Leftovers”’
When I was a kid, I used to love getting glue on my hands and having to peel it off. One of the best parts was trying to see if I could get the entire sticky film off my hands without it breaking. I never accomplished the feat, but I still managed to get a bunch off without it ever coming apart. Simple joys like this can get you through your younger years, but having a crap-ton of glue all over you can actually turn you off from the stuff completely. Just ask these Chinese firefighters!
Continue reading ‘A Sticky Situation’
Ok, so I am sitting in my apartment alone and depressed. My sister just took her final exam for her first year in Pharmacy School (so proud!), and my friends are all at work. But, I am going to listen to episode 58 and laugh at what a bunch of miscreants Stephen and I are, and I will be heartily cheered! 58′s content is deliciously hilarious, and is sure to make you wet yourself laughing. We have special art on the forum from Eryck Webb, and an amazing song done by our very own Frankie U. Check it out and be cheered along with me!
Continue reading ‘Episode 58 – “Caution: Riding Tortoise May Cause Burns”’