Daily Archive for April 2nd, 2008

Went in for Great Value TP, came out with Jury Duty

Published on April 2, 2008 in Surprise!. 4 Comments Tags: crematorium, eulogy, funeral, internet, millie, online.

You know you are in trouble when the judge begins summoning wal-mart shoppers for Jury Duty. In Lima Ohio, Judge Richard Warren, who was presiding over a child rape case, realized he had a problem when he ran out of prospective jurors. His Solution? Summon random people at the popular shopping destinations.

Judge Warren dispatched the sheriff to serve more Jury Duty Summons at the local Wal-Mart, shopping mall, and supermarket. The sheriff and 3 deputies questioned unsuspecting mall shoppers about their county of residence and voter status.

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The Apocalypse Is…Not So Nigh Anymore

Published on April 2, 2008 in Crazies. 0 Comments Tags: Cult, Doomsday, Russian.

This is a follow up to the story posted earlier this week about those crazy Russians who were hiding out in the cave and waiting for the world to end. Well, it turns out that handful of those crazies weren’t crazy enough and decided to leave the cave after the roof of their makeshift hovel started to collapse. It sure looks like their fearless leader was right about the world ending, so long as the world was that cave. It has got to suck to think that you are safe from the apocalypse only to realize that the safest place you can be is outside your safehouse.