Monthly Archive for February, 2008

Episode 47 – “Brown Chicken Brown Cow”

Published on February 25, 2008 in Shows. 0 Comments Tags: .

Ok, so, I have had the plague for the last week, and it has just about liquidated my insides ebola style. I have taken enough medication that I thought I was from a different dimension at one point; I have slept for entire days; I have eaten really well; and kept exorbitantly warm… and still I have the phage. I want to get better! On that note, I sound a bit like a whale in this episode (which is entertaining in and of itself). The content is also pretty amusing: a church with sexual commandments, a man who literally got nailed in the nuts, and a man who thinks all your tacos are belong to him.

Factoid of the Week:
Oysters can change gender according to the temperature of the water they live in

Personally, I’d rather be slapped with a ruler…
Crazy men in Japanese school girl uniforms. A new trend, or just another random idiot?
I Want To Attend This Church
I So Did Not Order That
As if our arteries could handle anymore…
Talk about getting nailed…
All Your Tacos Are Belong To Me
Man Drives Stolen Car to Police Station

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Running Time: 51:34

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Down With The Sickness

Published on February 22, 2008 in Announcements. 0 Comments

I have come down with the phage, or the plague, or ebola, or maybe zombieitus. My throat is melting, I can’t breath, I’m all achy and weak, and the copious amounts of cold medicines that I am on make me want to sleep all day. I will either emerge victorious… or as the living dead. Either way it might be neat. The point of my whining? I cannot speak, let alone without coughing, so the show is off until I stop dying :|

Sacrifice a virgin for me if you think about it… or gift baskets of cough drops might be a pleasing substitute.

-Ash

Episode 46 – “Two All Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese”

Published on February 17, 2008 in Shows. 0 Comments Tags: .

Wow, this weekend has been conspiring against us! The SUC heads attacked, mini-bears looted our HQ, our mixer exploded, I forgot how to swallow water, and my parents were here (four people in a two bedroom apartment = lame). We finally managed to emerge the victors, however! Huzzah for perseverance. Today’s episode comes to you complete with ninja kitties, flying moose, and freshly baked rodents. Yum!

Factoid of the Week:
One cubic foot of gold weighs more than a half ton

Do-Gooder Accused of Do-Badding
Online Prostitution! Coming To A City Near you!
Who Let The Chickens Out?
Ninja Kitty Evades Firemen
Falling Rock…er, MOOSE!
Fresh Baked Rodent
The Phone Is Mightier Than The Tazer
Grandma Wields An Axe
Firefighter Arrested on DUI…While Driving The Fire Truck

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Running Time: 46:35

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Damn The Gremlins

Published on February 17, 2008 in Announcements. 0 Comments

Well, all our happiness came crashing down on our big, fat, happy heads this evening while attempting to make up Friday’s show. Our mixer imploded upon itself, and is now a very expensive paper weight that mocks is with ever button that refuses to light up. Stephen has sold a lung, and now has enough to buy a replacement mixer. He is planning on doing this posthaste.

Something about today just did not like us, or the people around us. One of our friends went to the hospital due to sever seizures, I almost choked to death (apparently inhaling while drinking is not on the “top ten most recommended things to do” list), and our mixer decides that it is sick of having our voices float through it once a week.

Someone go do some voodoo for us, and help us get back on track!

I also hear that dragons take kindly to virgins… if anyone can find one of those?

Thanks for your patience!

-Ash

S.U.C. Surge Causes Show Delay

Published on February 15, 2008 in Announcements. 1 Comment Tags: , .

This is Steve reporting from the front line of a surge currently taking place by the Squirrel United Comrades (S.U.C.) against our friends in the Feline Underground Resistance (F.U.R.) I’m excited to tell you that we are holding back these incredibly acrobatic, yet easily distracted elite forces from our enemies. I’m stuck in a foxhole…or cathole, given the circumstances, and I’m watching the mania take place. I’ve never seen a tabby cat fire a bazooka with such precision, but Private Mittens is tearing the opposition. I am deeply saddened that I am forced to relay this info through text, but my microphone was shot out of my hand by the squirrel sniper they have on their site. The good news is one of our guys managed to see it and noticed his position, dispatching him only seconds later.

The main reason I tell you about this non-stop action is that our show will be delayed until tomorrow! Hopefully this conflict will be resolved and we’ll be reporting on the craziest news that happened this week! Hang in there with us and we’ll make sure it’s worth your while!

Holy crap! We’re moving forward! I can see their makeshift camp, and we are taking over! More on this later!

Episode 45 – “If All Else Fails, I’ll Just Recycle My Urine”

Published on February 8, 2008 in Shows. 0 Comments

I went out tonight thinking I was going to get some yummy German food… only to find out that it had been replaced! Then I drove downtown and parked, ready for my second choice… but it was overran by small children and country music! So I walked to a Japanese place and got Kistune Udon! It was so good. So good. But the cheesecake… not so much >_<

Either way, the show tonight is wonderful, as always! We give you the secret of the Highlander, reasons why you shouldn’t swallow keys, and… is anyone out there missing their scalp?

Factoid of the Week:
If the human body had the same mass as the sun, it would actually produce MORE heat 

Things You Shouldnt Swallow:
New Sitcom Idea?
German Bank Robbers… Or Not?
Mayoral Dog Napper
Buckle Your Beer Up  <–Submitted by Max of Analog Medium
Handcuffs: Fun For All Ages
Houdini Couldnt Have Done Better
Anyone Missing Their Scalp?
The Lion, The Witch, and The Dead Guy
Call Her Grandma Crank
Immortal Baby
Small Plane Crashes in Tallahassee 

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Running Time: 57:23

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Episode 44 – “Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity”

Published on February 2, 2008 in Shows. 1 Comment

So, we were a tad late with posting this because I went out to eat and to see a horrible movie… I’m never let a group of five girls pick the movie ever again! I’m also going skiing tomorrow, which means a 6am wake up call. Yay! Hopefully, you guys are listening to this when you aren’t tired, and I haven’t broken my leg. So, stay tuned for inflatable dolls that lose their moans, 89 frozen ferrets, human tongue risotto, and a man arrested for dunk driving his lawn mower!

Factoid of the Week:
Roughly 2.2 million Americans can play the accordian

Shark Attack!
109-year-old Gets a Passport
Man got a stupid idea…then acted on it
Deaf Due to Cotton!
Inflatable doll lost its moan
Why Sterilization Should Take Place
Frigid Frozen Ferrets
Body Parts Stolen
Human Tongue Hospital Food
Man Takes Mower on Beer Run <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Double Dog Dummies
Pr0n Search on Nun’s Computer

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Running Time: 1:01:55

 

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