Monthly Archive for December, 2007

Episode 39 – “Like A Kick In The Face With A Golf Shoe”

Published on December 29, 2007 in Shows. 0 Comments

Holy crap, did we already celebrate Christmas? Well, for those of us that celebrate Christmas, anyway. I can’t really recall what I did. I’m pretty sure there was a goat on the table at one point, and something about a rumball fight that landed half of my household in prison for some time. Fun times, fun times! Anyway, Christmas week lead to a lot of people stuck in chimneys, septic tanks, and rampaging santas that stormed through a cinema. I’m sure the Christmas elves are proud of us.

Factoid of the Week:
The plastic or metal tip at the end of a shoelace is called an “aglet”

Santa doesn’t do it like this
Smoking ban leads to holes
Rampaging Santas
Thor’s Hammer needed in prison
Ghost sends Christmas cards
Christmas + Acid = Naked Dance
Adding insult to injury
Have yourself a stinky Christmas
Fake balls anyone?
Premature opening leads to stabbing
Who steals a Jesus? Seriously?!
Snotty cop
Pr0n 4 Christmas!

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Running Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

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Episode 38 – “Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal”

Published on December 21, 2007 in Shows. 0 Comments

Hello again Ladies and Gentlemen! H&H has returned from a great pilgrimage from the land of morons to bring you what we have found in the vast uncharted world: a whole bunch of ridiculous news about stupid people doing stupid things. We nearly died out there after we were threatened by a group of guys with beercan helmets and large clubs for speaking with “them smart words.” Yes, we have returned unscathed! And we bring with us news of stolen beaches, a wolf with a taste for steak, horny bus drivers, squirrels that think they’re Solid Snake, and women with unhealthy obsessions with Santa Claus.

So enjoy this H&H Holiday Special, and don’t forget to share it with your friends!!

Factoid of the Week:
The average amount of Santas hired by a US Mall – 3.73

So, this wolf walks into a bar
Not a use for coffee <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Shocking Punishment
Beach stolen!
10 Year old girl arrested for cutting food with knife <– Submitted by Voodoosnowflakes
Hooker + school bus = WTF!?
Tinsel Screws Thief
We can “enhance” anything
Squirrels are getting a lot smarter
Ho, Ho, what a Whore
A laughing good time
Goosenapped!

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes

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Episode 37 – “It Was The Meat That Inspired Me!”

Published on December 15, 2007 in Shows. 1 Comment

For a limited time only, get Horseshoes and Hand Grenades Episode 37 for ONLY fourteen installments of $999.99! This limited time offer will never be seen again, folks. In Episode 37 you will get: A plea to Digg our show, a man in a speeding wheelchair, a death threat via Karaoke, a man that shoots himself in the bum, and for a limited time, a playful pup that procures peeing penises!

If you order in the next ten minutes you will receive the all new golden pill that makes your poo glitter for FREE!

You won’t ever see this offer again… don’t let this one of a kind Episode run out!

Factoid of the Week:
In her entire lifetime, a female hummingbird lays at most 2 eggs

Indian man bites rabid dog! Rescues duck from the cold grip of death!
Man gets stuck in bathroom for three days
Wheelchair bound man arrested for…speeding!? <– Submitted by Frankie U.
Man shoots himself in the buttocks!
Only 10 shopping days til Christmas. Better buy some Rhino Poop! <– Submitted by Frankie U.
Karaoke: Threat lvl orange
Bouncing lovers bounce cars over the edge
Golden pill makes your poop glitter
Playful Pup Procures Peeing Penis
Angry tow truck driver tries to tow police car
Don’t taze me, bro! I’m deaf! <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Suburban sex parties draw complaints
Barbie’s prison

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes

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Episode 36 – “Fish Don’t Stink Underwater”

Published on December 8, 2007 in Shows. 2 Comments

Omg, my brain hurts! It hurts so bad, I can’t even express how badly it hurts. On that note, we have produced a wondertastic show for you guys this week! The WTF!?’s are more WTF!?ier and the News Better Left Untold really should not have been told. We also received buttons this week and are totally stoked beyond all things stokable! So go pop some Tylenol, pin your buttons to your forehead… and chow down on this amazing-super episode!

Buttons…Courtesy of Ashley’s iSight camera and her hand O_o

Factoid of the Week:
Mr. Potato Head was the first toy to be advertised on television

Tourist confused on which bed is his
Bird sentenced to solitary confinement
Newsflash: boobies make you live longer!
Cat found after 19 days with its head stuck in a peanut butter jar!
The CIA can stop cancer!
Death to Poochy?
If you can’t put them in your hair, they’ve got to go somewhere!
This is coming out of the wrong hole! <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Fart Break
ASSAULT: Man hits Santa in the face with a pie!
Whistle while you shoplift
Wife attacks hubby with potato

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes

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Banner of DOOM!

Published on December 1, 2007 in Announcements. 2 Comments

Go here for the code and then… Spam us far and wide!

Episode 35 – “Our TV Has Premonitions”

Published on December 1, 2007 in Shows. 0 Comments

An ode to Horseshoes and Hand Grenades by a long dead monk:

Horseshoes and mighty Hand Grenades,
The protector of the smart.
Beware all ye of small mind!
And those that are dumb at heart.

Well said, long dead monk!

This week the protectors of the smart bring you hookers for charity, skinny santas, and men raping bikes! Also, check out our new myspace at http://www.myspace.com/horseshoes_handgrenades!

Factoid of the Week:
Doctors in the 1700s prescribed ladybugs, taken internally, as a cure for measles

Twins have two different dads!
Hard-up for a win
Prostitue offers sex for charity
STEPHEN’S SOAPBOX: Sesame Street is Adult Only Entertainment!!?!?
Man gets three years probation for having sex with bicycle??
I’m fat because I want to be like Santa Claus
300 LB Woman and a Bike
Chicken fat on Virginia highway causes four wrecks
Doctor Doom
Man shoots out traffic camera, gets arrested
Man tries to deposit one million dollar bill
Chicken eats bracelet, man eats Chicken
One Cheese sandwich with a side of dead cousin

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Running Time: 1 Hour

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