Episode 263 – It’s Not About Weiners

Published on June 19, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

Man-of-Steel-Henry-CavillSo, I’m going to start writing those one sentence stories for the intros to see how far along I can get a ridiculous story. It’s going to be a few sentences at a go. Feel free to email us and help us along! I’ll get it started:

    Walking lightly despite his awkwardly shaped shoes, the clown held his breath as he peered into the child’s window. The little boy was busy attacking his sister’s Barbie Doll with a hard plastic dinosaur.

Factoid of the Week:
Healthy News! When nails are discolored (a color other than peachy-pink), this may be indicative of a diet deficiency or diabetes, allergies, or other diseases.Bluish colored nails generally indicate a lack of oxygen in the blood. This discoloration may be caused by lung disease, such as emphysema, or asthma.

Ugly Prostitute
Shred Yo Money!
MaryJane Farts
Free Board for Walrus

Words of Wisdom:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

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Running Time: 1:13:33

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Episode 262 – Frosty Day in Hades

Published on June 12, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

tarantulaWhy is getting ahold of information through a school like attempting brain surgery while you’re sick? Shouldn’t information flow FREELY from a place of learning? Instead, you have to talk to people that must have just rolled out of bed with a hangover. They never know what you’re talking about or where they even are. They transfer you 50 different places and no one is ever at their desk. It’s like walking a maze lined with glass barefoot with your eyes gouged out.

Factoid of the Week:
Studies have shown that you’re never more than ten feet away from a spider, and one estimate puts you as close as three feet. To be “spider-free” you’d have to go into space in a fumigated capsule.

Skilled Workers Wanted
Woman’s Surprise Deliver
Town Ships Poo Back
Breastmilk Flavored Lollies

Words of Wisdom:
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
- Roger de Rabutin
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Running Time: 1:42:55

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Episode 261 – Shake, Shake, Shake

Published on June 4, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

pop-tartsI made my own Kale Chips! They are delicious (and not 7 bloody dollars for a small box of about 10 chips). We’ve a garden out back and we have a TON of kale, so it just makes sense to cover them in vegan cheese and dehydrate them :D I put a lot of cayenne pepper in this batch so no one would eat them save for me ^_^ Also, we are looking to have a special guest in the next few weeks! Stay tuned for details!

Factoid of the Week
Bruce Lee could perform one hand push-ups using only his thumb and index, perform 50 reps of one arm chin-ups, and throw a single grain of rice in the air and catch it with chop sticks.

That Sweet, Sweet Money
Po-Pop Pop Tarts
Virgin Tv
The Hair Up there

Words of Wisdom
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. – C.S. Lewis

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Running Time: 1:33:39

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Episode 260 – Socks in Tandem

Published on May 23, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

ChewbaccaSo, I found this very interesting “how-to” on the net the other day. Honesty, I couldn’t even tell you how I went about finding the directions… but, like most things on the net, this is how gold is found (by aimlessly wandering until you find something that sparkles). It was a picture of two wet dish sponges with a latex glove sandwiched between them. Apparently, you wet the sponges in warm water, push them down into a cup, and then wrap the glove over the cups edges (effectively trapping the sponges in the cup and making a makeshift pocket sex toy). Yeah. I made the same face.

Factoid of the Week:
Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Dr. Who Vs. Star Wars
4 Year Old Mayor
Man Has Sex Hornet’s Nest
Policeman Stuck Up A Tree

Words of Wisdom:
“To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet’s nest is a very bad idea,” Siv During Livh

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Running Time: 1:21:34

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Episode 259 – Interview with a Vamp, er… Brit.

Published on May 16, 2013 in Shows. 2 Comments

hellFullSmallIt’s so nice and warm and fantastic outside and I want a boatload of fries and a massive body of water in which to swim! Tonight we are joined by Alex Byrom all the way from… somewhere where they speak English, but not USA English… English English. The kind with the neat accent. He also created some sort of game that’s fairly amazing, but I’m mainly concerned with the accent. We didn’t manage to get to the news this week (there was a LOT of talking), but the hilarity of making fun of a Brit was worth skipping all my hard won notes.

Factoid of the Week:
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

Go to Hell, Dave

Words of Wisdom:
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

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Running Time: 1:33:25

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Episode 258 – Flaming Pants

Published on May 6, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

Official_cover_art_for_Bioshock_InfiniteStephen is playing BioShock Infinite on hard mode. You can’t hack things. It makes me really sad. It also makes me sad that I SUCK at the game. FPS + Ashley = FAIL. Give me platforming or adventuring or puzzles… and I’m golden. Make me fire a weapon at someone that isn’t a really bad pixel with the title GoldenEye… and I fail miserably. I really like watching people play them, though! Elizabeth is the best companion EVER. A woman who gives you money… winning.

Factoid of the Week:
Acupuncture was first used as a medical treatment in 2700 BC by Chinese emperor Shen-Nung.

Doc Forgets Acupuncture Patient
$600 and a Banana
Cancer and Chips
Captain Hook Wasn’t From Samalia

Words of Wisdom:
“A man may esteem himself happy when that which is his food is also his medicine.” – Henry David Thoreau

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Running Time: 55:16

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Episode 257 – You Have Chest Hair?

Published on May 1, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

TigerIs anyone doing Insanity with me or am I winging it alone? Stephen was meant to do some hard core working out with me (we have this whole competition thing going), but he sucks at life… or rather, he doesn’t and is busy with actual life. Either way, I’m killing myself all alone! If anyone is doing it, let me know! Also, IRON MAN 3 this weekend!? I am so bloody stoked! Who all is going?

Factoid of the Week:
3.5 million people are still paying for a dial-up AOL internet connection.

Chess Gone Violent
Tiger in the Potty
McDonald’s is Gross
Panties for Men

Words of Wisdom:
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. – Friedrich Nietzsche

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Running Time: 1:14:14

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Episode 238 – Missed a Spot

Published on April 24, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

girl_scoutsIt is currently 2:43am and I should be asleep. I’m not, though. I am listening to a stupid song and getting SHOW NOTES! I think there should be HnH cookies. They would be awesome. They would be WAY better than lame GirlScout cookies. We wouldn’t bug you by coming to your home in cute outfits and beg you to buy our overpriced crap! We would put a “buy our cookies” subliminal track under all of our shows, so you would willingly pay for the HnH logo branded over sugary goodness. Dude, I want an HnH cupcake shirt now. ERYCK! Make me cupcakes!

Factoid of the Week
In 1848, Niagara Falls stopped flowing for 30 hours because of an ice jam blocking the Niagara River.

Cock Attacks
Reporter Suspended After 5 Seconds
Farmer Turned Nude Model
Seriously WTF?

Words of Wisdom
I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. – George S. Patton

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Running Time: 1:05:09

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Episode 256 – Flushes McNamby

Published on April 17, 2013 in Shows. 2 Comments

ManofSteelI’ve picked up Ocarina of Time again and cannot stop playing it. It’s really sad. I forgot how totally addicting that game was… and how FREAKING much I hate the water temple or anything even remotely resembling water (ice) in that game. It is evil. The learning curve goes in this happy slight slope and them BAM… DOOM. Speaking of doom… I cannot move. At all. Day Two of Insanity kicked my BUTT. I thought working out for a month would prepare me. It didn’t. Ouch.

Factoid of the Week:
Kissing someone for one minute burns about 2 calories.

Lake Hylia
6 Yr Old Gets Takeout
Man Wrestles with Tiger Shark
Zombie Hamster

Words of Wisdom:
Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less
Robert E. Lee

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Running Time: 1:05:35

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Episode 255 – Fish Flood

Published on April 10, 2013 in Shows. 0 Comments

poodle-ferretSo, I spent all day outside playing in the dirt (and apparently poop). My mother is having a party this Saturday and Daddy wanted to surprise her by landscaping ALL of the yard and the garden O_O It looks awesome, but I ripped my pants while picking a bag of dirt up. That wasn’t so awesome. I had already ripped them the last time I wore them (while moving to Va Beach), but I had sewn them back up because I really like them. So, of course, they decided to rip right where I had sewn the last rip up. Seriously? I refuse to chuck them, though. They are nice shorts and I heart them! Actually, all of my pants are like a decade old… I just keep stitching them up. I should buy new pants. I suck.

Factoid of the Week
Bone is five times stronger than steel.

Mug Shot Spawns Marriage Proposals
Proposal Classes
Naked Aussie in Croc-Infested Water
Ferret Poodles

Words of Wisdom
“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

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Running Time: 1:08:13

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